feelings, dangerous.

We humans are so weak. And helpless. Keep doing things that we vowed not to, and forgot about the promise we made just now... Talking about this, I'm worst at this. Remembering what I promised. Maybe I have something in my head that blocks my memory? Or that I have a much smaller brain than normal? Something up there must be wrong...

I feel more so these few months. I can even forget to ask mummy answer the call that I picked up!! That's why Liqin always say that next time I'll forget to bring my baby home...(Hopefully my husband isn't as bad) But seriously, I quite fustrated at myself at times when I forget about appointments, to bring things or to do things that I've promised. Gosh, excuse me for doing all these in the past. Well, although I can't promise that I'll remember everything from now onwards, but I definately try my very best. At least I've started using an organiser which cost me 20bucks...*ouch*

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Hmm, you know something? I've just realised that I'm in no position to trust how I feel. Doing things and deciding by feeling is really Dangerous. It's like speeding at highway. Although there're lesser traffic and seems to be in control, seems safer, but the fact is, I'm losing the willingness and ability to be true, be it to myself or others. Usually end up in serious mess. I feel disgusted by people who puts up show and can switch their views, expressions or words within a snap. I never want to be a two-headed person, I'll really hate myself then...

Talking about this, Liqin did tell me that I have a tendency to supress my feelings to an they seems to disappear, if not, I'll make sure to lie to myself: "No, that's not how I felt." And end up really convinced that I really did not feel that way. I gotta admit that... I think what I need is an outlet to throw them out. And since I can't talk them out, I Type. That's the reason for this blog.

I have alot to express... Thoughts were once in my little head, or just flash past. And can type out lots and lots. But not for you today. Haha, maybe because I've chosen to lose them all at East Coast after that deep thinking day?! Whatever it is, I'm still accountable to God. Will try my ultimate best not to throw His face de lah! Relax...