What's wrong?

Maybe I hindered your growth.
Maybe I obstructed your development.
Maybe I prevented you to venture out in faith.

I don't know why I'm starting to lose faith.
I've drained all my left motivation.
I'm starting to rely on encouragements from parents each night.
Or that I just have to fill out this position coz there's no one else?
Is it that we just have to make up a cg?
Have I expected too much?
Or am I so demanding?

I don't know why I'm so discouraged, so dishearted.
I felt extra after going the extra mile to make sure things are right.
Yea, maybe that's rather extra, thinking back.
I lead infront and realised everyone's busy with their own life, not even bothering.
When I hope you be equipped, you tell me you have your exams.
When I hope you learn to enjoy fellowship, you tell me what time you have to go.
When I hope you stay beside me to just hear me talk, you're busy looking for the next train.
When I see your holidays are coming, I no longer dare to hope.
Because that's so much for all that I hoped.
Hopes made me end up consoling myself.
But the cycle repeats...
FOR 3 YEARS.

For once in my 3yrs, I actually hope to be transfered out.
Who knows, you'll be better without me.
And that actually, I was the barrier all these years.
If that's so, I apologise for blocking your ways for so long.
If I were to know it earlier, I can go.
Even if I don't bear to...