Let's free our hearts to love more... Love more.

If you know my family well, you will know that I hate coffee times. It's time when I'm cornered to end-way, and have to reveal my secrets. To my parents, of course. They have a way to ask questions leading to my heart, knowing how I think, or worse, knowing why I answer the way I did. You can't blame them, both are psychologists, studied children behavioral changes, seen many many many people of all walks of life. They're more than being smart, clever and knowledgeable... They are WISE. And especially my dad. Talking to him makes you surrender everything you vow you wouldn't tell.

Or maybe is it just me? Is it because I'm their daughter that I become so vulnerable before them? Why will one of their sentence impact me that much? Why do I keep their suggestions deep down my heart? How did I manage to know their hearts when they didn't tell me straight in my face what they think? How will I live without them?

I have little secrets. Some I can share, some I don't have to share, some I don't want to share. Secrets like I would imagine dad and mum never make it home from Thai and then cry to sleep. Or cut and paste noses, mouths, ears from different kids and form them into my future child's face(Oh, all 3 photos look like deformed mutants). At times I'll practice what I want to say infront of the mirror the day before, using different expressing tones, expressions and body language to best express myself. In short, my life is more than what you see.

The fun I enjoyed is more than what my camera can capture. The food I eat is more than what you see in my toilet bowl. The tears I flow is more than those I cannot control. The encouragements I received is more than just cards, letters, emails or sms. My life is alot more. More than my everyday life. And it's always at coffee times when I'm actually tricked to reveal my secrets...

Today's coffee time we talked about Thai ministry, sanfu, tithing, weddings, studies, marriages, friends, meetings... Dad told me something which made me really scared, knowing that future is somewhere nearer than before. "CL, you're adult and there are some things in life which we can no longer help you decide. But you have to decide and not let them mess up your life. In whatever decision you make, we'll try to move on from there, together. As a family." I hate tearing infront of dad, that makes me seem very small girl... What more in Mac?! But what to do? I AM THEIR SMALL GIRL AFTERALL.

But amazingly, thinking back, the most grateful times in my life:
Coffee time :)