Yes it's long and non-sugar-coated...

I'm not a good speaker, nor am I expressive to my train of thoughts. I'm popular for explaining a lot of things nobody can get it. But still, I want to share my views... Well, dad just analysed to me why younger people seem more restless and tired, while elders more enthusiastic and passionate in life. Other than because they realised they have not much time left to live (hahaha...) Dad told me 2 reasons why I may not be able to build a desired family in future: Because of my selfishness and short temper.

Ya, he's just so naked in his words. He says from the way I pack the house, he can see selfishness. (eg: Pushing mum's files out from my table to living hall, switching off the fans whenever I'm sweeping...) And from my thoughts and language, he sees my short temper. (eg: Scolding the TV actresses for being so dumb, being impatient with bro...) He ended off by shaking head la! That's @.o!! But not only I admit, I fully agree.

Well, although it's frustrating to listen to someone listing all your areas for improvements for nearly an hour, but I'm thankful that he observes me, judges me, lectures me... If not that he takes the effort to pointly highlights my flaws backing with examples, I will be ignorance to them. And likely there will be no chances for improvements.

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Don't judge it's book by it's cover is a debatable statement afterall. Haven't you teach your child how to differentiate a good boy from a bad boy when he choses his friends? That's judgment. The boy who fits into your "bad boy" image is also someone else's precious son. Haven't you glare at the skimpily-dressed lady and wished your daughter never grow like that? She is someone's daughter as well... Although these judgments never hurt because they aren't expressed, but they are also judgments we often make. Are they acceptable to what the Bible says, "Do not judge"?

Firstly, let's define the judge we can make, and the judge which Bible says no to. We judge because we are given the ability to do so. And from there, we can make decisions. You can do your school projects or conclude on what you want for dinner is because you are able to form an opinion objectively and wisely. That's good! That's the judgment God expected us to use! What the Bible is actually saying no to is not the act or that instance of judging, but rather, the motive inside. How have we derived the judicial decision is what He sees: what intentions/motives/reasons behind all these judgment.

If it's for your daughter/son's sake (eg given earlier) that you have to teach them how to judge wisely, your intention is not to hurt but to educate, then it's perfectly fine to do so. But if we cunningly impose a judgment in a suggestive way, guiding people to a negative impression about another person, that's the kind of judgment God detest. That's why, it's always safer to display judgment about THE person to THE person. Not about THE person to ANOTHER person. You may think what I'm saying is silly, but it's true. People who really hope that you improve give comments to you and people who only want to tear makes suggestive comments about you to others.

So one simple way to detect God's-way-of-judging is to approach the right person to express your judge. Only that way, do we show we are sincere in getting the problem solve and displaying love in hope that the person improves. On the other hand, the way to detect Shameful-way-of-judging (God sure don't like us doing this...) is to prove your judgment unable to reach light by telling it to everyone except the direct person you are commenting about.

Jesus didn't politely tap the Pharisees on their shoulders of their sinful ways. He slaps them with His word! Jesus made a judicial decision to the two who lied about their offerings die instantly. He sees the young man falling asleep during sermon and taught us to judge that inattentiveness to His word caused him to fall to death... Well, Jesus didn't PLAN all these, He merely allowed Himself to make judgments and taught us how to!

Secondly, one of the reasons we feel hurt by posted comments is usually because we aren't sure if the judgment was right. Or if not, we lived a life close by that comment. (eg: you won't feel more hurt when someone says that you killed his mum than he saying you back talked his mum.) You can see that hurtful judgment hurts also because there is a possibility that the judgment was right! Thus, it somehow poked us at our sensitive spot. Shouldn't we look into it and learn more about ourselves from there?

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We may be really losing out in our character, integrity and moral behavior as compared to the earlier generations... But at least let us learn to have the capacity to digest judgments, comments and feedbacks so as to improve from wherever we are. Don't jump on your toes yet when people judge you, those judgments may be just what we lack to move to a higher level!

Instead of seeing reasonable judgments as hurts, see them as a cross junctions to make a right turn! As for unreasonable judgment, think twice, thrice... If they are really unreasonable, throw them out of your head! (easier said then done, I know... But I'm stating the IDEAL-TO-DOs.)

"It's only at low tides that you know who has been swimming naked." ~Anonymous~


If we aren't naked, just wait for low tide.
If we are naked, it's still not too late to get ourselves covered!