I'm deeply in love with...

You, grandma...

You visit in quiet nights via thoughts, as always.
Wondering if your heartbeats are beating healthly, normally.
Imaging your sleeping face and the faint cd player.
I remember how we used to walk up the stairs. 1, 2, 3, 4...
How you talk to me about God, about life.
How you tried to fill up age gap by spilling some english.
How you kiss me, how you hug me goodbye from home.
Hate to see you sick and worried about things.
Dislike you discouraged and saddened about life.
Your tears. They sour hearts.
Your prayers and encouragements and nags. They live.
Your smiles and laughters. They are contagious.
I miss all of them, the good and bad.
That's why 903 back is always so unpleasant.
That's why I do silly wavings throughout the bus.

Pray so hard that God keep you by my side, always. But we're so far apart, Woodlands and Marsiling. That's my limit for you to stay apart. No further.

My hope, is that you grow stronger each day, always better than best. My wish for you is to never weaken, that faith of yours. My heart... I don't know why it selfishly wants you to stay even though you pray to leave. Till today, I'm still selfish, and more than before.

I know moving from fantasy to reality will be more practical and less hurting. But let me stay out of reality, until I'm ready, until my children sees her. Now, let's play with grandma. Because I'm my grandma's girl, forever. I'm in love and will always be. How unlucky is ah ma... I'll never free her.


I cannot agree to pray that you leave...