Going?

Do I know where I'm heading to? I know where I HAVE TO head to, but am I going the same direction? Or just the exact opposite? Okie, okie... If I'm not in the right direction, do I know how to U-turn safely? Or will I get some bumps and bruises here and there in the process of changing directions? It's not easy afterall, to change what you always believe in, what you've always hope for, what you've always trust...

How did I get myself into all these? Why me? I mean, You could have let other people experience that what... But, also because it's me, I felt honored. So now you feel like killing me? Hah, I've always been contradicting. But still, I feel proud to be used by You, and testify Your work, in a weird way... But Lord, make me sleep well. Because I'm afraid I'll do silly things which will hurt others, and damage the glory of Your name. I don't want that to happen. So God, if You allowed this to happen, please be with me. Help me do it Your-way, not mine. And guide me through so I can draw near You, and bring people around me to You too.

Hmm... I've learnt this: Instead of waiting and hoping for a godly pastor, should I seek such a prestigious and honorable involvement in the Kingdom of God, myself?

God, please nod...