Noble Parents

I did a pulse count yesterday, using an Osim product. And my rate was horrifying. 104. Goodness, my grandma's only 84 lor -.-". Anyway, they say maybe it's due to being very tensed up and feeling anxious always. And I don't know that?! How can it be? It's true that I get worried when I'm relaxing and doing nothing, trying to recall what I've forget to do for the day. And thus, either I run away from the reality sleeping or start doing something useful. In any case, I hope nothing serious is occuring in my body!

Today, someone told me that he wanted to give up stalking his admirer. And it's a great start!!! I told him the importance of the replacement principle. When you want to kick an old habit far enough for it not to crawl back, you have to replace it with something else.[I expirenced it k!] That's what Pastor Rick Warren taught too! Gosh, you have to know that godly man is so wise... And their wisdom[not forgetting it's from God] shake me awake always.

Talking about that, I was brain-washed by dad yesterday. Actually he wanted me to go malaysia with them very much, but I think it's super boring going... [opps!] So, knowing that they're travelling by bus, I smartly said: "Yucks! Bus?! I don't want. Later bus-sick." And he said nothing then. But after a few minutes, he started explaining the type of people he needs in Charis. People who are forever optimistic. Even when circumstances don't agree to them, they can stay positive and always putting church and other people's needs first. I uderstand. He was trying to express how disappointed he was when he heard that I didn't want to go reccee with them just because of the bus ride and the people going wasn't to my favour...

I know I was wrong, so I helped them checked out hotels there and said I would like to kpo their reccee... But you know, God at times only give you a chance to be involved in His work. Once you lose the passion and the joy in serving, He takes the chance away. Yup, He took mine. So here I am, sulking at home. Not doing nothing, but not being able to help out. Sometimes I really feeling like slapping myself thinking if I have a daughter like myself, I might just ask for early death. So selfish and demanding. Wonder what shit my parents endured these years...

Pa ma, don't worry k! I'll be a responsible daughter, going the distance with you all faithfully.[maybe not physically, but spiritually...] In fact, I treasure your naggings and endless reminders that left me on bed thinking why would you bother so much. Because you care. Sometimes, I hope I can help you take the medications in the drawers and the stress you have to bear, like not knowing how to go to meeting places or trying to understand the really ang-moh meetings... I hope I can hide some very hurting realities that you have to know and put more youthful energy into your body to sustain your 33hrs plus of sleep a week. After I learn driving, I want the first passenger to be you and just for a cup of kopi at Jalan Kayu.

Before all that happens, teach me how to show you that I care, and I really do.