I don't understand why I don't understand...

I pray to have the courage to pray to God that my fairy tales never happen...

Because it disrupts God's plans.

But you think it's easy to give up what you want?? Think it's easy to live what you should live up to?! Given the present you, to live a future you?? Striving hard for something which you have to put faith in to understand and something you cannot touch, see, or feel?! You think it's easy?! Huh?? YOU. I'm asking you! Yes, You right here reading. I'm asking if you think it's so easy?! HUH... So easy to be lowered to the bare minium and to humbly follow whatever and EVERYTHING that God says??!?!

If you can, teach me how to.
If you failed, tell me what you did so that I don't do the same.
If you are trying too, tell me so.

So that I don't have to feel like I'm REAL SIN-FULL struggling with all these piles of da4 bian4 I got myself into. Jesus wouldn't. That's why I'll never know WWJD because He'll never allow himself to land in this state I'm in. BOO-HOO~

But hell is far worse off than da4 bian4. And if my Lord can save me from hell, why can't He do the same as I'm stucked in these... Trash?(Trash is a nicer word!) Something positve here~ HAH...

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You know how I wish I know how to share whatever's going inside me? Aiya~ Let me find myself and I'll get CL to explain it clearly what's going on inside her... I need pills to inactivate my mind first. HAH. Sleeping used to be the best runaway. But now, it's no longer useful~ (BLEAH. If I made you feel I'm dying any moment, I'm not! Just some little crazy hormones to release...) Maybe it's time I understand running away is not the best option? Or that I have to find other ways to keep running?

MAN, I HAVE NO IDEAS WHERE MY LOGIC COMES FROM...

I'LL BE BACK IN A MOMENT.

Wait a few years for a godly-designed CL!