Best gift - Be there.

I don't know what I can give.
So I'll just be there.


Wait for me...

Zzzz on visit -.-"

I used to want to be a teacher. Then a lawyer/doctor, realising they earn much more -.-". Then a pastor. Gave up not long after to wish to become a pastor's wife. Finally... A normal housewife of a random guy -.- (YA, I KNOW...).

But now, I am a tuition teacher. A part time child care centre care giver. I want to be a someone who gives my students something to take home to think about, other than homework. I think character building and moral development is the foundation of education. If not, we are growing wise idoits who know the answers but don't know the reasons. Rich in knowledge poor in wisdom. "Someone's sitting in a shade today because someone planted a tree yesterday." ~Warren Buffet~


I always love this:

"Even after all this time, the sun never says to the earth: You owe Me. Look what happens with a love like that, it lights the Whole Sky."
~Hafiz~

Although it's a SUPER random chat, but it does make some sense. And although it's from a dumb friend of mine, I'll still remember. That love works. Love solves without disolving. A silent sound, a mute language, an understood comunication.


My grandpa went for another eye check today. And because he didn't drop his eye medications as required, his condition isn't improving. The doctor sensed he didn't like to go back for appointments so frequently so he threatened that it'll be a weekly appointment if his condition isn't improving, and said to me, "I'm kidding. Just scaring him." And winked. Zzzz~ Super lame. But I acted on because to let grandpa take his medication seriously...

I've always think that grandparents live forever. No matter how long they live, they die the day I die. My life brings them everywhere... Phase after phases. Just like someone said, "They never go out of fashion." They will always be trapped in my generation, my time. Until the day I lose my memory, if I can only keep few things, let it be God's words from them. Let it be childish leanings and playful tricks that dwells along with us.

Because it's tiring growing up.
How nice if time stalls in the sweetest moments.

But how unsweet will sweet be in a life without bitterness.
Because there is sadness, there will be happiness.
Because there is bitterness, there will be sweetness.

I have so much to learn. How to connect smoothly and disconnect gracefully. How to enter slowly and exit systematically. How to understand yet not give in. How to agree and yet not be confused. How to be flexible yet stay firm. How to pass my theory test... The clutch and accelerator are driving me mad~

I dislike being mould. It's painful, you know. But I look forward to being renewed. It's exciting, you know. That's why I always like the things I shouldn't. And dislike the things I should. Maybe I should align with something and measure up with someone you may say. If that's you saying that, I have one more to learn: To ignore your ignorance.



BLAH.
Can sense lots of frustrations from this post?
Thought voicing may help.
But apparently it's not helping...
I wish you can just "pop".
And disappear...
God shouldn't like me now...
I will make Him like me more tomorrow.
Give me a "weak-break", please.

Intentions' Worth

I used to think right intentions always have the right of way.

Just as long we're having the right intention to things, doesn't make our idea best.

Because apparently there are alot of good intentions which cannot take place concurrently.

That's when priorties are important.

And that's why right intentions doesn't necessary rule.

There are still alot of good intentions to weigh and sacrifice in our messy life.

Not too clear cut and direct at times, but can work some sequence out.

Using more brains than feelings will minimise regrets.

I never want to regret in this.

I don't want to allow.

WAIT.

I wait for buses. I wait for school results. I wait in queue for consultation in hospitals. I wait for business opportunities. I wait for smses' replies. I wait for the bathroom. I wait for water to boil. I wait for the food I ordered. I wait for growth, for maturity. I wait for time to tick by.

But... Everyone grows tired of waiting eventually.

Especially when there isn't progressive results.

I am impatient.

And have low tolerance to poor sap false hope.

I like green beans. Because it didn't take too long for the beans to crack and to grow sprouts out of it's hard shell. And very soon, we can see a shoot from the bud. This is a worthwhile wait, ya? Because you see reults, your wait becomes valuable.

On the other hand, waiting for something which is unlikely to happen is devastating. It kills every present second, deprives us of better attention spent, ALSO! It makes you regret. Yucks. It's an irritating feeling which makes you feel really silly and dumb. I dislike feeling myself that way...

So, I'll make sure I don't anyhow hope.

And don't anyhow wait.

Thus won't anyhow feel sad.

:D

HA. HA. HA.

A post for myself.