Undercover Angel

I really dislike "once upon a time". It somehow prepares you for something bad that's about to happen. They never fail to spoil fairy tales, stopping children and parents to meet, princes and princesses to meet, grandaughter and grandma to meet. It somehow marks a stop to peacefulness and lovely life. "Once upon a time" becomes a revisit of the fun and laughters, a retrace of happiness and gay. It presents the past joy and make way for the future trials. I really dislike it. Neither do I like "happily ever after". Clearly because it's bullshit. (Pardon me) So stop sending fairy tales. A stupid intention leading to hurtful memories.

I've always thought I favor simplicity than complex quality. Actually, I fear complexity, that's why I appreciate simplicity. A no strings attached life is easier to live, is lighter to carry on with everyday. If there are lots of promises, lots of to-do, lots of what next time, when later... It'll be overwhelming for me.

Read from RW that we can't focus is because there are too many distractions. When everything is catching attention, nothing is focused. Thus it's always wise to drop some subjects. Those without value, without result. Not that I've learnt to lead a focused life. In fact, it's just the exact opposite that I'm at. So don't pull me away from where I should be at.

It's my pleasure having people who cares and understands, people who scolds and teaches, people who enters and exit. It's nice to have them all... YOU all, I mean. My life is definitely shaped at corners and trimmed at sides. I'll bring all these into my next phrase of life, that I can promise I will.

The love generously given will be shared to others. The blessing shown will be showered to the rest. I'll forward your enthusiasm and energy in life when things crumble, I'll replay how you shield for the weak so that I learn from you. I'll carry your health reminders to my family and friends, I'll make sure I make them feel the way you made others felt. And of course, your extraordinary gift for making people feel you have known them all your life after meeting them for less than 5mins. You left your glow on people you met. I want to do that too.

时针慢慢的移动。
分针走得比较快。
但时间到时，这两只针就会碰面了。

回忆的“回”就是回头的“回。”
一个人若一直回头走回老路，就没办法走向前。

Go and be who you want to become.
Go and be yourself without barriers.
But do stay under the wings of Protection.
Under the grace and mercy of our Lord. I'll pray for you.

Let's move on.

Away

If you don't know just where we stand, don't brace a fall that you may never want to land.

I am working hard because there's a visibly near rest to look forward to. Call that an unhealthy motivation or missed-focused aim I don't really care. But that's the fact for my present state. I can move on because I see my break, my kit kat.

Well, I used to think we can find soulmates when I was in secondary schools, or maybe I thought I found one. Totally comfortable being together but reality of the world and human emotions didn't let us have our way for long, we have to part. Since then, I kind of accept the fact of living life STILL, to its fullest without a soulmate is possible. And need not be lonely.

Btw, we shouldn't be relying on that hope in the first place. Not as many would be as fortunate to find a matching one. Trying too hard to hold on to them will only make you lose them faster, in an uglier way. Cherishing what there is and not squeezing whatever is in it is important. Because losing is painful.

Sometimes I wonder if time were to reverse, will I still make the right decision? Will my curiosity kill myself in hope to explore possibilities in life? Will I mess things up? And till today I still ask if I regret some decisions made. Will I blame it on Him if my fears which drove me this direction actually doesn't really exist? Will I be disappointed if my pride to some of my stubbornnesses which maybe really nut-shells?

If I confused you, that's right! Because that's exactly what I'm feeling. If you think I think too far, too much, that's right! But I can't help it too. Life isn't all easy and clear-cut isn't it? If we enjoy something which doesn't belong to us, the pain of leaving it will make you wish you never had it initially. If we dumbly reject a good blessing from Him, thinking it's too good to be true, that's frustratingly stupid to do also. So where's the stand? Like mentioned: If you don't know just where we stand, don't brace a fall that you may never want to land.

Oh. Tell me a better theory that's less hurtful.
Bah. I sound so not me today.
I don't know where I should stand.

I do have to make sure I look beyond self to find the way out. I do have to admit what I lack to find what I need. I do have to see my flaws to work out improvements. Lots of repairing, clearing and reflections(plus scoldings) to do and get before I find my place. But it's ok! My youths are always encouraging in their improvements! I'm still working towards my church building fund donation plan! I'm seeing my Saenmango Church up in the mountians soon! And Weiling can come at just $470.81!

WooHoo~~ I'll be happily away till next tuesday! NYPians, we shall meet on 27/04/08 for dinner and movie, shall we?! Of course will see Grace first on her 21st Bird-Day la... How would CL forget that, I wouldn't!

Hoping that Lin Gang is doing well. And that Serene's mum be free from pains. Not forgetting LX's dad salvation and Mel&Char's studies. YQ and LY's struggle to find their place in life, just like CM and YS. Little Sheng Yang's and mum's health be well together with Yi Ling's and mum's. TB to experience Lord as always in his new Church and Tiwa's parents to receive Christ. Of course praying for Charis Mission On the Move!

There's always something to make a little difference to everyday!

又是新功课。

拿得起；放得下。

人总是复杂的动物。
以前，隐藏的原因常常让我失望。
但现在我明白了。
明白如何站在弱者的地位扶持别人。
更明白它将带来的喜乐、满足。

当我们有福分参与建立神国的计划，就当满足。
因为我们内是卑微渺小的人。
所以，一有机会，一定要把握。
无论自己将受委屈，压力，破哲。。。
宝贝已经在瓦器里了！

有什么事是由了神的宝贝还不能克服的呢？
世界上又有何人、事、物是值得我们一生挂念的呢？
我们永恒的价值不只是接着这些短暂来建立永恒吗？
倘若是这样，无论什么事，都因该拿得起，放得下嘛。。。
就算有一万个不愿意，也当如此面对。

蔡呈灵又不是第一次逼自己做很不想的东西。
上次也不过这样熬过来了。
这次也当如此果断。
无论最后决定是什么，只求一件事：
但愿神的旨意，不是人的意愿，成就。

以弗所书4：12常纠正我自己的喜好。
当先求他的国和他的义。
就算“这一切”都没有加给我，那也罢了。
因为能先求到神的国和义，已经达到目地了。
已经可以满足了。。。

After climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb.
~Nelson Mandela~

功课去了一个又来一个。

Seasons change. Life continues.

Beijing 2008 faces protest from Tibet disruptions.

Oprah show is interviewing a 5 months pregnant MAN tomorrow.

Aresenal VS Liverpool result = 1 all. (Badminton terms.)

志丽传道just gave birth to a girl this morning.

Intensive insulin therapy which is a tightly control drug due to reduction of mortality and morbidity in critically ill patients are now allowed out of ICU units.

Saenmango church kids are facing school enrollment test on 25th April.

Lin Gang is going back China for good.

Dad managed to convert an African song into chinese but sounded really dumb -..-
Mum told me if I marry a pastor, she'll pay my policies for me. (Like I really care...)

A Taiwanese tortured his girlfriend one full month leaving 9 fractures 2 years ago and only getting 13 years jail?!


There are so many changes in people's lives each day. Many a times, seeing what others are going through makes me a more grateful person. So what are discouragements? What are unhappiness? What are sadness? They no longer have value when we can choose not to put value in them. Seasons changes, life continues. Oh yes! No matter how you were hurt, bullied, taken advantaged of, life continues!


Choose how you speak. Choose when to rest and when to work. Choose what you see and hear. Choose your focus. Choose where you give your attention to. Choose who you give your heart to. Choose what to hold on to. Choose your source of strength. Choose JESUS!

It's YOUR life afterall.
Choose the best for yourself.
Don't settle for the second best that easily...

I'm learning to choose who I want to be by choosing what comes into my life as much as I can. I'm asked to be liable of things I can, not of those I can't. I've to answer to what I did, not of what others did to me. People who are disheartened looking back at spilt milk, don't look back. Those who are discouraged looking forward at those deadlines and competitions around, don't look forward. Look up. "When you turn your face to the Sun, your shadows fall behind."

Life isn't as bad as you may be thinking.
Sometimes we just have to switch a direction of viewing.
And life will be on your side.

Got around to read people's blogs. And from reading, I can feel their stress in studies. I understand how is it to sit there and try forcing facts into the tiny brain which is already jamming up. Or staring into notes blankly. Or even left behind my peers academically. Oh I have a quote to all the feeling burnt-out/squeezed-dried:

Don't ask what the world needs.

Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it.

Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.
~Howard Thurman~

Sometimes it's a silent prayer that you need to hear your direction. Or reading the Bible before your textbooks. Or encouraging another to be recharged. Or to just be still, to remember your Creator. Your Creator sure has the key to make you come alive.

Turn with me to Hebrew 11:1...

Freeze Time.

To photograph truthfully and effectively is to see beneath the surfaces and record the qualities of nature and humanity which live or are latent in all things. ~Ansel Adams~

Time.
It makes changes without effort or strength.
It changes things just by passing.
How awesome, how sad.
As it continue passing by us, let's welcome the changes.
And let photographies freeze the memories.