Direct me

I hope I was a robot at times. All mechanic, battery operated and not able to control myself. It'll run as it was instructed, behaved as it was told and dies when battery finishes~ By then, everything that happened will not be my fault and I'll be clear of blames! Haha, FAT HOPE. But why don't God make us more obidient in nature? Why don't He just control us with His remote and we'll all do as He says? Because God wants us to do it willingly? He wants us to do things that comes from our hearts? Duh...

But I hope things will be so different especially so when I don't know the best solution out yet. Maybe God can be my superman? Haiz, He will prefer to see how I settle, just like Nanny Macphee. And only pops in slowly in the last minute... Slowly. I definatlely don't like it. But I know that I need to learn and grow. Sometimes it takes so much effort to do things right but being a little careless and blur can destroy all hard work.

You never understand how it feels excatly. Just like I don't understand how it feels inside you too. Sometimes I hope I was never in that ring, better still, out of the picture. Struggling like a frog that has fallen into a bowl of milk. I have to kick, and kick, and kick, to free myself... And when milk turns into butter, I'm done. Jump out of the bowl!!! But, as for now, I'm losing the will to kick and struggle. I need my cg with me. Right now, all that I need is to tell Jesus... Quietly.

That He can come fast to see me~