How am I now?

My internet's fixed! Thanks to Sam! So I can roam around anytime of the day... Hmm, that isn't too great to me either. Nothing in this world can satisfy us. They may be able to make us happy, but they sure don't have the ability to make us joyful. I know why recently I keep talking about joy. Because I seem like I've somehow misplaced my joy. So have to keep reminding myself not to worry and to always give thanks, like how my 儿 did! Haha, WJ, your post did encouraged me.

Come to think about the past, the journey, and how the environment and I have changed, I somewhat start to fear. Because I realise how fast and easily things and people changes. I start to realise my trust in people decreased greatly. Because I don't want to be entangled in confusing and heart-guessing games? But seriously, I don't want to be hurt, nor do I want to hurt anyone. Is that why I no longer can trust like I used to? I miss those times when I could depend on others to get my problems solved.

I went into long hibernation just now, sleeping at times when I should be awake. Dad saw that I was really tired, so he excused me from badminton today... It's tiring to stay awake at times. I'm hoping that it's due to tiredness that I'm behaving this way. Because I just don't like the other possible explainations.

As Dec approaches, I know 2006 is ending. And that 2007 is starting. Do I still have oil in my lamp? Or has my fear dried up my fuel? Will we stand the test of our just God? Will He smile when He sees me? Oh man... How I hope my faith grows immediately, so that I can stop worrying and to live in peace.

Re-teach me how to trust and have faith.