0203 Youth Camp Reflections

To Youths:
You could have done it a sloppy way.
You could have close an eye, ignoring the needs.
You could have pretended hearing nothing of the passion.
It would be easier THAT way...

We'll then not fall sick. (And get scolded.)
We'll then have plenty hours of rest. (To do our own stuffs.)
We'll then not have to rush our tests and homework. (And get As.)
It would be more comfortable THAT way...

But you guys didn't! You went all the way with a tight budget to come out with man-made items. You replace church tshirt to youth tshirt to show your unity. You brought microwave, hotplates and electronic tepanyaki down because there were no stoves. You made your own light sticks, you negotiated with the bike and boat uncles. You remembered who to thank, and thanked them. You shared your testimonies, with an aim at heart. You amazed me by your abilities. You shocked me by your talents. I'm stunned by all your stuns.

People who don't understand may ask think we overworked, we shouldn't have such packed schedule. BUT WAIT! Don't you start blaming our church, our God, our religion for all these. In any areas which we may fail to balance well, (Eg: falling sick, piling homework, insufficient sleep, bad results...) IT'S OUR FAULT. Problem lies with our time management, our laziness, our weak health, our shortsightedness, our naiveness, our neglects, our capabilities, our abilities... We'll do it better next time. So don't you dare blame my God, my Charis, my Leaders, blame me instead if you really need to. As adults, you have gone through the transitions yourselves, now it's our turn. Come and gain some insights about how they may feel as they cross this threshold in their lives? Instead of sitting back to judge, learning the areas to support them will help yourself and us!

We were grateful that many people in our church were supportive and helpful to our youth camp. Jinfa donated his whole morning to us, driving us here and there to get the things we need. TQ2 not only gave us more chalets(I cannot imagine if they didn't help...), they also assured us by asking if we have enough resources. TQ3 sponsored our finale night's BBQ dinner, and say we can have better food there. Weiling and Heguo gave us themselves! Staying over, sacrificing their time to make sure we're safe, contributing ideas to improve our progs. Mushi and Daoshi came over to preach and make sure we're alive, not forgetting Anthony, Ah shun, Shi hai, FR, and even Caipapa Caimama came over! We felt so treasured... We are built in these every aspects of care and concern.

It has been a great time serving people with the youths, or executing games with Alvin, or heart-to-heart talk with Tiwa, or brainstorm ideas for YF's wedding decor... Well although all these need my time and effort, but I see it as a privilege being able to offer them.

The price which Jesus paid reminds me, I live to build the church.
And that, I'm living!

破茧而出

This year's camp is so different as compared to camps in past years. Being in charge of games is NOT about preparing games then execute games... It's about making sure everyONE is well taken care of. Maybe because many see Alvin and I always crazy and nuts, MISUNDERSTOOD that we have creative ideas for games. But you know what?! LQ is then the master mind! Haha, she suggested the games to us!

Alvin shared that he enjoyed the busyness which almost snapped him. Me too! Although it's frustrating to have people coming to you asking for help in different areas when you already can't cope yours in hand, it's irritating to be asked to do last minute stuff people think you can also annoying to know you have to finish up work when others are sleeping and eating... BUT! It's our pleasure too! To prepare till late nights(and have no rooms to sleep in) or to skip meals(and see who really cares by bringing in some food for us) for this camp is surely rewarding. When we expect elders to join half the game, most went ALL the way. When we expect partial involvement from the groups, ALL were enthusiastic enough to help even when it's not their role. And we finally realised we should have expected more, because Charis standard is HIGH!!

What lesson I'll never forget in this camp:
To find Alvin whenever I have problems- he'll settle.
To focus on the ultimate aim when serving.
To maintain humble and joyful attitude in busy-serving.
To have fun and enjoy the service we're providing!

What I enjoy most in this camp:
Devotion time. Tiwa is a really sweet and sincere girl. Sharing with her makes me closer to God! She shares her troubles, worries, problems and I shared mine too. But in the end, both of us are reminded by God that is the in charge no matter what, so whatever the problem, whenever it occures, whoever obstructs = NO FEAR. We're not solving it alone, man!

What stunned me most in this camp:
My Youths!
Their dance, their independence, their tolerance, their unity, their involvement, their self-lessness, their discipline, their ability to help in their groups... Heard many compliments about our youths this camp. Your care extended, your entertainment performed, your enthusiasms shown and your patience displayed sure made a difference to someone! WELL DONE!!!
Charlene's and Melissa's participation is most crucial and appreciated... You know what I mean. Please continue to expect and prepare yourselves these for the church camps to come!

破茧而出

我有我的茧必须突破的。它也许不容易克服，它也许有捆绑的能力，它也许已成功的控制我。。。但我透过营会已找回失去的信心。放马过来吧！

现在我再也不是孤军作战了！

Reflectionssss...

Well, I've changed.

To someone less appreciative to structured operations, more emo, easier to please, harder to be energised... To someone who is starting to feel the pressure living her own life, making her own decisions. Also I'm starting to realise that death is anywhere, no, everywhere. So I'm being more open to changes.

Whatever or however, I'll become, I just request that Jesus won't be taken away from me. In tough times, I need Him to carry me through. In joyful moments, I want to share my smiles with Him. I want to be less self-focused, less self-conscious, less self-centered. I want more people in my life to see Him in my life... And to do that, I know there is price to pay. He is a jealous God, I can't be holding lots of things in life yet having Him to shine.

So...
What is there to let go? Where am I to let them go to? All the bitterness, hurts, regrets, bad habits, selfishness, wishfulness. How do I walk out of them? When will they be fully gone?

RW says, we don't own ourselves, thus we cannot actually say "Surrender my all". That's because we don't have control of ourselves in many aspects. That inspired me into a thinking which I still don't know if it's right, and that is what I can do presently. If I can't forget things I should, let them stay then! Never mind if it stays in my memories, but don't let it grow. If I can't remember things I should, let it be! Never mind if I can't recall, but don't stop doing what I should which I can remember.

I'm going to ask dad if this is the way to life. If this will bring us to the next level of faith and pleasing to God. Because I'm sick of pretending. And feeling guilty for not being able to reach my desired goal. Many times I want to do good, but fail. And do bad instead. Afterall, I realised I'm out of control of myself. So, I thought of this way to move nearer to Him.

However, is this another more crafty way to avoid my problems, and will it lead to more room for bad to grow? Is this a plant of SA. Tan's thoughts? I'm also not sure... But just an expression of my struggles when trying to keep up a pleasing life. Also my proposed solution to this struggle. Let's wait and see if my proposal will be approved...

At the mean time...
NEVER STOP MOVING THE RIGHT DIRECTION!

Weird...

And when ZL's back, did I then realise... That I missed him. Missed his presence. His ring and hair. When I'm glad to see him back safe and sound, the more I understand his presence's importance. When he's away it's just one head lesser. But when he's back that I know, he's more than a head in my heart.

Funny isn't it? To miss a person more when he's already back, in front of you... And you can actually miss a person standing right before your eyes. Whao, am I too old or what?! Or that I just need more sleep? Keep reminding myself to take whatever chance because I may just collapse and die any instant.

Soul Man

Why is the question the same, when the answer never change?





It's still the same the same the same the same the same...
The same.

Most Singapore kids are happy - Study

Just realised I have many -.-" posters in my room:

1. Every child is born a potential Genius.
This is real CRAP. If that's so, then what superior meaning does "Genius" holds anymore?

2. Thank you for being my friend.
I bought this poster... Ya, for myself.

3. Smile, and the world smiles with you.
Frankly speaking, who on earth will smile just because you smiled? It's crazy to wish that others smile because you smiled.

4. If you can do it, I can do it too!
Errm... Who is the YOU and the I here?! God knows T.T Self-encourage-poster?!

5. A baby is God's way of saying, "The world should go on."
I'm still deciding if to agree to it.

6. ... We have no limitation, except limitations of our own mind.
Well, THAT is a type of limitation! And THAT can cause our lives.




But more importantly...

New Charisians, Warm Welcome Onboard!