flying~

I'm so happy but I'm not telling you why... I have enough reason to fly, okay~ hehehehe... hmmmmm... hahahahha... lalalalala HAHAHAHA~ I'm so happy I think I'm flying. Hah!

Okay, touched the grounds le. Back to life. I'm going to drums lessons tomorrow and paying $175 for the 2months fees. Duh, it's eating up all my cash and I don't remember more than one thing that I learnt each lesson lor! Stupid me. But anyway, I'm thinking of giving it up esp more so when I'm considering to learn driving. Before you say you wouldn't dare to take my rides, think twice. I'll be generous and use that dying church van to drive you to your door step okay! Ya, Charis's dying van~ It has been faithful though. Not dying halfway like the previous one...

Hah, still wanting to blurp out the joy that's in me! Man, I'm losing the will to stay normal. Bet grandma will discover sonner or later. But before she does, I want to remain insanely happy!!!

Today trying out army colours...

Noble Parents

I did a pulse count yesterday, using an Osim product. And my rate was horrifying. 104. Goodness, my grandma's only 84 lor -.-". Anyway, they say maybe it's due to being very tensed up and feeling anxious always. And I don't know that?! How can it be? It's true that I get worried when I'm relaxing and doing nothing, trying to recall what I've forget to do for the day. And thus, either I run away from the reality sleeping or start doing something useful. In any case, I hope nothing serious is occuring in my body!

Today, someone told me that he wanted to give up stalking his admirer. And it's a great start!!! I told him the importance of the replacement principle. When you want to kick an old habit far enough for it not to crawl back, you have to replace it with something else.[I expirenced it k!] That's what Pastor Rick Warren taught too! Gosh, you have to know that godly man is so wise... And their wisdom[not forgetting it's from God] shake me awake always.

Talking about that, I was brain-washed by dad yesterday. Actually he wanted me to go malaysia with them very much, but I think it's super boring going... [opps!] So, knowing that they're travelling by bus, I smartly said: "Yucks! Bus?! I don't want. Later bus-sick." And he said nothing then. But after a few minutes, he started explaining the type of people he needs in Charis. People who are forever optimistic. Even when circumstances don't agree to them, they can stay positive and always putting church and other people's needs first. I uderstand. He was trying to express how disappointed he was when he heard that I didn't want to go reccee with them just because of the bus ride and the people going wasn't to my favour...

I know I was wrong, so I helped them checked out hotels there and said I would like to kpo their reccee... But you know, God at times only give you a chance to be involved in His work. Once you lose the passion and the joy in serving, He takes the chance away. Yup, He took mine. So here I am, sulking at home. Not doing nothing, but not being able to help out. Sometimes I really feeling like slapping myself thinking if I have a daughter like myself, I might just ask for early death. So selfish and demanding. Wonder what shit my parents endured these years...

Pa ma, don't worry k! I'll be a responsible daughter, going the distance with you all faithfully.[maybe not physically, but spiritually...] In fact, I treasure your naggings and endless reminders that left me on bed thinking why would you bother so much. Because you care. Sometimes, I hope I can help you take the medications in the drawers and the stress you have to bear, like not knowing how to go to meeting places or trying to understand the really ang-moh meetings... I hope I can hide some very hurting realities that you have to know and put more youthful energy into your body to sustain your 33hrs plus of sleep a week. After I learn driving, I want the first passenger to be you and just for a cup of kopi at Jalan Kayu.

Before all that happens, teach me how to show you that I care, and I really do.

lalala~

Went to Orchard just now and I realised I don't know how to get to Mango shop myself... Haiz. But luckily found after a while of walking here and there... And I got my blue top!!! :) Well, not that I want to comment la, but blue on stage really not nice lor, unless the shade of blue is standardised. Coz have a feeling the "blue" that I picked is not blue. Aiya, as long as got wear can liao la...

Anyway, the journey back was long and lonely. But share with you what I saw. I actually wanted to sleep, since I have no book or anything entertaining enough to keep me awake~ Haha, but something eventually did catch my attention. A pair of couple sitting opposite me. In their early 20s, I think... What happened was the girl seems very grumpy and keeps complaining and nagging. And her voice wasn't very soft, quite loud. Her man looked at those who stares at them and struggles his eye-contact off quickly, pretending to listen to his gf. Pathetic! Silly guy, choose to stuck in such a difficult position himself. So I smiled to myself seeing that, and he SAW me smiling... I think any kuku there will know that I was laughing at them.[Note: All these while, the lady was still indulge in complaining, with hand signals at some point.]

Why do you have to trap yourself leh... I mean if you have shosen a nice person, you enjoy la, but if you don't think the person is not as relaible and trustworthy, then why start? I mean you have to walk a lifetime with him hor.[anyway, who believes in only one love these days?!] Open eyes big! Don't be fooled by your feelings. As I mentioned in the previous post, don't trust even what we feel. What our feelings weigh anyway~ Keep a vigilant and logical mind while dating, looking for partners. I believe in:
If you love someone, set him free. If he comes back, he's yours.

I don't believe in making someone like you by acting as the person that will attract him. How long can you put up the act anyway? Someday, when you are sicked of putting a mask for him, he wouldn't love you anymore. But it's a different thing if you make love simple. Just be yourself and if he takes you, he takes a package. Your family, habits, temper, values, principles... Take all together. We can't choose to love this and not take that when you say you love someone.

I've never said "I love you" to anyone serioulsy because I know I'll have to put my life into it.

Lala-land dream...

HiHi!! Just woke up... Envy?! Hah~ Do you know that if I sleep too much, I'll hallucinate the next morning when I wake up?? I mean, I'll have to spend sometime waking up, making sure that I'm really awake and not in my dreams. I test myself before I'm really convienced. Like I'll aim to touch the alarmclock and if I really feel it, then I'm awake. Sometimes I see people, other times I hear people call me... But I think it's just a routine of a wonder-brain. Hee~

Had a very idoitic dream last night... Well, I'm not telling who I dreamt of, but someone I didn't expect to see in my dreams~ Haha, let's skip to what happened. Hmm, I was having family dinner and and this A person came along into my house, I don't know how, but he managed to come in. Then he sat right infont of me. Btw, we were all wearing gowns and suits, mind you!! I don't know why too... Then he started asking my dad if he can become a pastor in Charis. -.-", I know... So they did an interview there, right on the spot and he passed~ My church now hires him. Well, you might be thinking it's no big deal, lame dream, but it wasn't to me. Don't ask me how I reacted, I didn't dream of myself in my dreams. O.o"

Then I dreamt of many other even more crappy things and forgot most of it by this time... Then comes the catch: The Wedding Day. My wedding day, I mean. If you thought I dreamt of marrying him, you are wrong![I was wrong too, I think...] But he hosted the wedding though~ But something to take note! My wedding place was glamourous!! Big green patch of field with white shelters. Btw, I dislike the thought of having an "whatever la" kind of wedding. I mean it's YOUR life long thing man... Why do it so sloppishly? Anyway back to my dream, he hosted... He really don't have to host that day. I can get someone else and can he don't be on stage?! Aiyo, not as I directed. It went hay-wired~ But nvm... Not that bad actually. I mean if that really happens, I'll only be glad. Coz the person I marry to must definately have been better! Hee... Aiyo, why never catch a glance of who I married to... Okay, going back to lala-land see who tonight. Hopefully the wedding paused for me!

Anyway, it's just another of my dream, not that serious kind of dream, but more of lala-land dream... Not too much dosage okay la. But must remember to COME BACK to real-life!!! Hmm... Fresh air today! Must start my hols in His Word first, then got blessings mah~

Post exams silent-mode

Exams are over... Phew~ But I don't seem to be as happy as I thought I would. Why?! Doubts me too. But nevermind, tomorrow will be better and cheerier!! :) And new adventures awaits!

Oh ya, I'm going shopping tomorrow and to buy the blue top needed on sunday! With Helena and she says she wants to sponsor me 20 bucks lor...[i didn't act poor or act cute, she did it WILLINGLY lor...] Anyway, need to buy many presents for different people. Leave comments if you want any! Then I'll send through email, k![opps...] Anyway, Gloria! Thanks for your wonderful pic!! The best part about it was: I looked GREAT! Whahaha...

Hmm... How can devil steals the Word from people? Only when it seems untrue. People don't turn loose on what they believe is true! So I've always want to believe the opposite of what the world is teaching. Letting the other slap another of my cheeks... He is forever my hero man~ How amazing our God is. Always there and never shaking off those who hold tightly unto His sleeves. His love never fails! Whao, feel like blogging very indepth thoughts now leh. But abit of struggles and esp so now that people got my blog...

Oh ya! I'm going to book hotel this birthday... Choosing between two. One, 3stars nia, but very near bladding and so much cheaper. The other, 4stars and at clark quay, can have supper at night and can linger outside pubs and bars watch soccer! They have really HUGE tvs!! Haha... Don't know why but I wanted this year's birthday to be abit different. Although I really hate standing in front of a cake and being sung birthday song by everyone there... I just don't like it and don't know how to react at times~ Ya, so maybe no cake cutting session?! YEA~

Do you believe in... Okay la, better don't say. Haha, maybe thinking how to phrase it in ways that people can understand better then blog out k! Today's not a good day for expressing, 4points to CL, fail! Boohooo... But who cares?! Lalala~

The heart-talking...

Well, gotta admit that I can't study in lots of conditions... Too noisy: Distracted. Too quiet: Fall asleep. I need something to keep me awake and alert. Hmm, library is a nice place, but not too quiet as I'll doze off in no time~ Haha!

Chengmin went 7-11 and bought microwaved pizza home.[that fat fat never change~] And generously gave me a slice. Mind you, it was his lunch but he still spared me a slice! clapclap* Anyway, it is the first time I tried and it's not bad... Nothing close to pizza hut but didn't expect anywhere there too~ It's the heart that counts.

Oh ya, do you know that a person's heart can convey the truthful message that's right deep in our hearts? I mean, our hearts betray us, always. You can say a million things a day, but your heart highlights the one you meant most. It also underlines those which you fake up to say/do... People communicate using hearts too. You may not know but you always do so. When we think we have covered our secrets skillfully, people already sense it like 2000yrs ago~ So, faking doesn't go anywhere. People can pretend to be caring, wise, not affected, generous... But it somehow shows. And I tell you, the person who is the least sensitive, can communicate using heart.

So, don't think we have fooled people when they are at the back laughing at us in our pretentious mask. I don't want to be the joke~ Haha... So, let's be truthful!! :) Our hearts speak for us.

It's always just a fine line between being holy and doing exactly what the Satan suggest. And it's always more difficult to be good than bad. A person cannot claim to be kind unless he is habitually kind. Neither can anyone claim to be good natured and "beautiful",[inside, i mean...] unless he/she is habitually good natured and beautiful. You get what I mean? A little stain God also mind very much... Whao~ The stricter He is, the more I like. Hee, not siao here huh!

"It's going to be alright!" and He's going to lead the way. No fear, just follow.[Follow nia I also live until so gang korh liao -.-"...] Hah. Economy no good ar... Better buck up and tighten seat belts for coaster rides~

Wwwooooooooohhhooooooooo~~[sweats...] Not dying though O.o"

Living once nia lor~

It's not time to blog too much during this exams preiod but still must blog abit, coz haven been faithful these days! Hah, coz too busy with so many last minute stuffs. Okay~ maybe not so last minute if I don't procastinate... My fault. Anyway, have been waiting for thursday and from now till then, time is passing so slowly~ Aiyo...

But I found out smth yesterday as I was mugging. I learn well talking the facts to myself! Not kidding here. I talked aloud, like teacher teaching students. My grandparents who walk pass my room to the loo must be thinking that I'm mad or what... Haha! But who cares, just as long as I remember those "little things".

Anyway, when I see my family members recently, I have a feeling that I owe them alot. And the presence of my "face" at home is defiantely one factor. I understand what mum tried to explain that day, but just refused to let her know that I actually agreed to what she says.[coz she exagerates alot~] But deep down I know, I have neglected family time and because of me and my packed activities, have the number of family gatherings reduced. WELL, but that's still not the reason why she can stopped me from watching Pink Panter yesterday?! [Lalala... dun care, dun care...]

God knows that neither I want to have it this way, right... But it just seems to happen. Of coz, it's because of me and I'm the bottom line la... I'll try my best to balance la, k! And try my luck not to bang into people as I maximise my enjoyment! Haha~ I live ONCE, pls understand. I don't promise that I can be like your son, so expressive and caring and understanding, but I can, in all areas I can reach, to show more concern. So you can stop comparing. It somehow irritates me ALOT when you compare and hopes that I start fighting with him for your love... Still, I don't agree on some of the things you think what I thought about this family. After all, I think I understand how I feel more than you do! Haha, punch me~ [lalalalalalala, bleah!] Yea, I'm the studborn daughter you bore 19 years ago...

Okay la, start building everyone around us and let them build us! And not provoking too many people here and there, before I get too many bruises~

At the mean time, STUDY AR!

He's back!

I saw Jenette Aw at airport just now! What a faithful bolgger am I, so late and tired still bother to talk about it... But she looks nicer in TV, in another words, uglier real life.[opps!]

Anyway, that's about it. Heaguo it back!!! He didn't change and still is heguo. Tomorrow is a long day, will be at Woodlands library mugging... As usual~

Personality Tests

I've recently did alot of personality tests... Not really VERY accurate, but fun though. Share some with you:
*... Why cannot copy and paste?! -.-"*
Nvm, I'll type out, there you go:

1.)Personality Profile-
You're funky, outdoorsy and down to earth. Wwhile you may not be a total hippe, you're definately one of the most spirited free people around. You're very impulsive and everyday is a new adventure to you. However, you do put some thoughts in your actions. Still, you do tend to shock and offend people from time to time.

2.)Keys to your heart-
You're attracted to obedience and warmth. In love, you feel most alive when things are straight forward, and you're told that you're loved. You'll like people to think that you're optimistic and happy. You'll be forced to break up with someone who is emotional, noody and difficult to please. You hurt people who are sensitive unknowingly. In this moment, you think that love is commitment and love only works when two are totally devoted. [that's of coz!]

3.)Your inner child is Surprise-
You see many things through the eyes of a child. Meaning, you're rarely cynical or jaded. You cherish all of the details in life. Easily fansinated, you enjoy experiencing new things.

4.)The seduction type, The natural-
You don't really try to seduce people, it just seems to happen. Fun loving and free spirited, you bring out the inner child in people. You're sincere, unpretentious and spontaneous, and click with the exact same combo. People drop their guard around you and find themselves falling fast.

5.)What your face says-
At first glance, people see you as driven and ambitious. Overall, your true self is reserved and logical. With friends, you seem lively and dramatic. In love, you seem interesting and mysterious. In stressful situations, you're totally helpless and need someone to help.

6.)Colour, Orange-
The choice of this colour shows that you're basically good-natured and loyal. You are sociable but at the same time you tend to be swayed by the opinions of other people. You're a generous soul, sincere at heart. More often than not, you're overtaken by feelings of wanton elation. [what's this?! dun understand...]

7.)Group B2
Your dreams and ambitions are much important for you and you can do everything to fulfill your dreams. Love is much valuable in your life but you always search for someone perfect. You easily trust here and there, but hardly trust and depend totally on someone. You are a deep thinker who only loves to study views of people, both positive and negative. Your friends are really important to you but you usually hide alot from them. You can lead a happy life with the person whom you care alot for these days.

Done!! Well, of all that's above, just absorb all the positive descriptions and forget about the negative ones~ Haha!

That mean nothing~

Time files... And the second semester is ending in 2weeks time. Excited? Yup. Sad to change class? Yup. But the fear most is if without my current hang out group, will I reach school on time? Not skip tutorials and lectures? They have been wonderful nannies and alarm clocks~ From the bottom of my heart: Thanks.

Well, V-day just passed me by and nothing very special happened, but that is definately not a point to be sad or bored about. I've just promised to be a "nun"... Haha~ Kidding la. But I'll do my ultimate to be responsible to how I make others feel.[pple who dislike me, note this down!] However, if people out there insist to think/feel the way they want to, I'll drown them... If I can't, I drown myself. -.-"

Anyway. Was studying and playing with my webcam with my brother. I saw a phrase that says:

"Life is drawing without an eraser."

Wow~ What a quote! And I've just bought two drawing pens 2days ago... Will start my drawing spree right after the exams. If you do draw, you'll find this quote having a much deeper context. No eraser. What does it mean to individual?? Some don't even use pencil to draw, so they can't relate much I think. But if you ask me dun use eraser, I can only scribble and vandalise, nothing close to drawing. It's an art to be able to draw. You must have basic ability of rationing the proportion, I think...

Seems like I have so much to try after exams! Better write a list of things I want to explore after exams, before I miss out any. I have lots of dreams to catch. But depending on the rate I'm going, don't know which will still be there when I can eventually say:

"Hey, I'm here. And ready to go."

Wwebcam!

Lalala~ I've got a webcam! Tried it out just now and it's really nice... Shot my whole famliy and it worked. And the catch is... I managed to download the programme without failures! ;P

And my dad didn't noe and came into the room naked! Haha~ Lucky Justus never see anything! If not my head will roll ar... But that was a fun experience and I'm going to learn all the functions in there. Hopefully can use it meaningfully, not just talk crap with it...

K, time to kwoon le! Just to share my new experience~

Cheers to Char and CL!

It has been a really tiring day... I mean physically. But was fun too! Char n I went to centre to collect something after TQ, as usual, but we saw some disguisting creatures. Cockroaches! Yucks, they stink. 3 somemore... -.-" Really must clean and mop properly tomorrow.

Anyway, just as we opened the wooden door and switched on the lights, two kidos seems to be playing hide-and-seek in the dark. They ran in different directions as we keep an eye on their every movement. Then we chase them round the whole hall, throwing our shoes all over. I managed to strike mine target at the third throw... That blur Char's shoe went under the tables, with her alive cockroach! Haha~ So, we rolled up a stack of newspaper and tried to lure the little thing out. And guess what?! We did it!!!

Killed both at the crime scene. But neither of us want to pick up the "bodies"... Smelly and slimmy. Yucks~ So we got my dad, the only person there to help. Not to my surprise, he don't dare.[my mum is in charge of all insects at home...] But after much plead, he struggled off his chair and came over. He covered both of them with a piece of tissue, swept them, then flush them down the toilet bowl. We clapped.

And you think the story is over?! After that, we filled up a pill of water, thinking to mop the dirty place. Who knows. Another one. In the girls toilet. Standing right in the middle of the floor, probably thinking who switched on the lights and disturbed it's sleep... As the toilet corridoor is very narrow, the challenge was higher. We shouted our lungs out reach time it move,[hoping that he at least have some sense of direction...] but refused to give up. Until my dad heard the screams and came over. He took out something Char and me never thought of: Bygon. He sprayed that boy and as his vision was still blur, he was flushed down. Again.

Well... God, keep me safe from all these disguisting creatures tonight~

What a day...

I typed out a really long post but is gone... Because of someone lor. Luckily he didn't take his lunch today, if not I won't pity him!

Anyway, I was saying that lots of unusual things happened today. Or is it I'm more alert today?! One of my classmates was having cramps the whole morning, and went home soon after the tutorial. She never fail to entertain me throughout the whole tutorial though... And because of that, I remembered a joke I saw:
MENtal breakdown
MENtal anxiety
MENstrual cramps
MENopause
Did you realise all problems begin with MEN?!

Ok, ok... It all depends on how you see it. Just like another one here:
An english professor wrote these words "women without her man is nothing" on the whiteboard and ask his students punctaute as accordingly. All the males wrote: "Women, without her man, is nothing." And all the females: "Women! Without her, man is nothing!" See?! Haha~

Anyway, I was walking home from the MRT just now. And two interesting incidents happened. As I was crossing, I saw a woman, in her mid 50s, wearing a transparent shower cap! The kind that hotels give away... Everyone there was looking at her, but she seems heck care. Whapiang, Singapore still have these kind of people around?? Then after that, I passed by a playground and saw 3 malay girls, all very young, kindergareners, I think. They were running about and they youngest of them all, was half-naked[only wearing pampers...], trying to stand on a rocking "zebra". There was no adults around. So I went forward and ask her sisters to keep an eye on their youngest sister, plus, it was drizzling. But their replies stunned me: "She's not our sister. She's our cousin. We're going to bring her in until she's wet." She WAS already wet. So I smiled to them, nodded, and went off.

In my heart, I was glad that they have a chance to play like that! In the rain, without parents' nags and reminders... I support the idea of playing in the rain too!! Ha,what a crazy mother I'll be, maybe?! But I don't see a need to forfeit any children from their area of fun~ just as long as it's not dangerous. Falling sick, injuring here and there strengthens body. I wouldn't make a big fuss if my children break their limbs once or twice, just as long they learn something and don't have phobia after that. Unless they always fall sick and is really weak...

Ohhh, ya! Ezzatul baked brownies for us today! And that was yummy~ Slurp slurp... THANK YOU!! And although today is the last day of lesson, don't frown. No one's dying or leaving. We're still friends! A call from you guys and I'll be waiting for you at the north canteen for FJ... So, no worries. Anyway, when there's seperation, then we'll truly learn to treasure and not take things for granted. Part and parcel of learing, I learnt it a hard way though...

Talking about baking, I'll like to try baking as soon as the exams are over. Depending on when I bake, who gets to be forced to taste it first. Ha! If it's really horrible, then maybe will not ask you eat too much, just take a slice or two?? Maybe my brother will finish everything because it's too irresistible?! Who knows~

Will blog out their respond if I even remember or have chance to bake one...
Ok, too long again... Bye!

Who cried?!

Just realised that weijie has not been going to school lately, again. Haiz, don't understand what's going through his mind... Maybe it's just not time yet? I really don't know. And hope that things will turn out better in years to come.

Anyway, tell you something that happened just 15mins ago. I was starting this blog halfway when my dad asked if I wanted to go down to explore who was crying. We heard a woman, followed by a young girl, crying. At first were just sobberings, but soon became louder and we heard man's voice. He wasn't shouting, but after each sentence he said, he woman cried harder.[didn't get to hear what he said. Duh.] My father,[who watched too much detective stories recently...] wanted to find out which family it came from. So we went down in order to hear better... When we reached first floor, there was no more sound. Everything became so silent.

My dad said that maybe a murder case has just happened in that family. So we should all smell for blood. -.-" Eeeewww~ He saw many things by the road side, and analysed them one by one. Like we found a banana skin in our lift. He explained that the one who threw it didn't just 'throw' it. He said that he/she must have threw it and kicked it to the corner of the lift. That's because the way the shin was positioned wasn't "natural"... So lame right! But I enjoyed these kind of analysis that many would think are not worth to even think about it.

Those who always think of the impossible are the most prepared for emergencies. They are the ones that will be leading those who laughed at them about the "lame imaginations" a few years back... And they will, in the end, appreciate they extra useless analysis!

Deep down, I salute people who think too much.[in the right context, that is...]

Whao~ it's 1.30am!!!

Sian...

Today, is a slow and long day. Each minute passes like hours and hourls seems to take eternal to reach. "When is it going to end" is my code for the day bah... Always looking forward to doing something different from the one I'm currently doing. So many things to remember, yet so little memory space.

Yesterday, Zhenni called. She told my mum that eating spanish and taking supplements of more irons can improve memory... And I know that's for me~ Duh. I hate to seems like I need to eat them. I'll willingly take when she stops believing that these green things can really improve the working cells in my brain.

But, the good intention behind is appreciated. You'll vomit blood if you see stats paper...(leqi is here) Ya, liqi IS here~ She typed it.
Ok, gotta get on with "projecty-life"...

Family Ties

Haiz... After my sleeping time and can't sleep liao. Research has proved that humans get their 'solid' rest from 11pm to 1am. And I doubt if I have 'seriously' rest for my past years~

Hmmm. Today went house visiting and saw many different kinds and patterns of families. Some very neat and tidy, some messy like what. Some speak softly and call their children patiently, some shout across the hall to get favours done. Really different aspects of daily-life. Wonder what will happen if we swap each family members to another different house, will they become deaf or die of boredom?

Heard a eighth grade painist[one of the houses we visited] play one of my fav chinese songs. Excellent. You know when he's stressing some phrases, how hard or fast at certain parts... Blah blah blah... And the piece fixed together was pretty amazing. I think he didn't bribe his teacher for his cert bah![opps]

We went to another house that was totally different. Friends were sitting on the floor gambling, house was in a mess... His parents were both at home, but they seems immuned to the blasting music and the rude words flying all over. But they were much more friendly and very chatty. Time seems to pass faster there.

But that doesn't mean I enjoy the loud music or the messy environment. It's really hard to strike a balance huh... When is the house overly cleaned or when do I have to talk lesser?? Is it easier to keep your children less hyper or easier to encourage them to talk more?

I always have this feeling that my chatty brother will turn into a very quiet man. That'll be the last thing I would want to see. For now, I'll treasure the quietness and enjoy the loud times we will have. If there's a chance, I would want to live with my parents in future. But I've once heard them saying that they want to live themselves and never want to help babysit any of their grandchildren. -.-"

But who knows? Anything can happen... So maybe my hope, just the exact opposite, will come true instead?! Heh heh~ We shall see!

Playing Drums

Guess what?! I'm playing drums for my service this week... Not too happy about it, more of nervous instead. You won't understand. The amount of stress on you as you play each beat, each drum roll. The drum set always seems so far from me. As if I can't reach them in time, or am I just LATE??

Arrrggghhh... Never mind. Will make it through no matter what. Many said we don't care about the music, the sound system and how the message was brought acrossed. Because we are in Worship. Not performing. But I really wonder if deep down, can a person be immune to all these external factors. I mean, even you are worshiping, your ears and eyes are still working, aren't they? So how can we possibly be not affected by them, at all?

Of course we can choose not to be too distracted by them, but we, in the first place WAS distracted. Cannot deny that we have the power to reject, but we can't reject 'suggestions' built up around us by others.[Rick Wrren said that...] We are suggested of different views every second.

Anyway, I'll do my very best to play well. I'll practise hard. Well, better don't say that it'll be my BEST, coz I will improve. But the efforts of practising will be respectable. At least God knows... I don't want to sit there and cry in the middle of playing like last time. Cry baby~ I'm going to smile at my own faults this time round.

And to my 'conductor', thanks a million for making your way down. For God, I'm on my way~

Get up and wait...

Suddenly, I feel so fortunate to be able to be me. I mean, to be who I am. No makeups, or masks needed. At least I haven't have anything as sinful to hide from everyone.[Though I don't share with everyone too...] Isn't this just enjoyment? Carefree living. But if there are always room for improvements... And I won't hestitate to change for the better. It won't mean losing the 'CL', but just a better CL.

Tomorrow have to go back school and exams are starting soon... Duh~ Gotta study liao lor. But LQ promised after exams go blade till siao with me liao ar! But you better learn faster, don't want to wait too long for you lor~ If not, will force you up Alvin's bike. And go off myself!Hehe~ :p

But really, I don't want to retake exams like last sem lor! Failed my computer module... And teacher still can comment that not many people "can" fail this module one lor. -.-" Aiyo, but don't turn back looking at what cannot be done, but remember it and do better! No one can look another down unless one raises white flag. After a fall, get up on your feet and get ready to charge!! That's what my dad always say:
"Don't be afraid to be slower, but do not stay still."

Hey, hey... A sudden recall of one phrase that caught me in a movie. It says:

"My kids screw up, but they are not screw ups."

If you don't understand, read again. We can fall, but we don't have to live in that fall! We're people with life who can outgrow our past.
'We can be products of our past, but not prisoners of it!' Rick Warren~

That's why I always feel that things are going to turn out better for those who knows they have fell, and are striving to get up again. Those who know but don't want to get up is in trouble... And the longer they take to get up, the more effort needed to get back in shape. So, it doesn't pay to wait.

But there are lots of things we have to wait. And wait. And wait... And wait! Arrrggg... And wait. Duh, so lame huh~ Not funny at all. Waiting is NO FUN at all. But it's crucial. Nothing good comes out of skipping steps. Only through the passage of time, will things get prepared and ready to reap!

So... wait and wait and wait bah!